Instead you're not and here I sit in my darkened room (Heidi just went back to sleep in the other corner, again), staring at my glowing screen and listening to the computer hum loudly. I look past the mountain of things on the desk that scream to be finished- letters to write, papers to file, camera to charge, napkin and bowls to return to the kitchen, washi tape waiting to be used . . .
I'm walking through a journey with God, fighting against the call to be disciplined, self-controlled. Right now my "self" is screaming- it wants to stay up late reading and doing whatever I FEEL like doing. To eat anything I want to eat (be SO thankful you don't live where you get huge donations of junk food daily). To never stress my body with exercise. It wants me to forget the dishes that need to be done before bed and ignore the school activities that should be prepped. I want to be selfish and lazy.
And yet, something inside, that spark of life from God, reminds me that I wouldn't truly feel good doing all that. It would be temporary. But wow, it sure is hard to do the right thing day after day. I'm super good at short-term changes and things, but long term is so hard.
We are in our final push of the year. Eight weeks or so until vacation and mountains to cross before then. We are dealing with some pretty huge things in our cottage. We're tired and worn out- emotionally, physically, mentally. Like most staff, we are ready for a break NOW and have to push on through until June. I'm in the final push of finishing our Kindergarten year WELL. Wrapping up some things, planning out the rest of first grade and figuring out how to squeeze my eager to learn boy into the mix. And on and on.
I'm feeling the urge to get my Bible out more, to be more tuned in to the truth, to keep my mind fixed on things above NOT on earthly things. We're gonna make it ladies, we're gonna make it. And if by chance you find yourself in Orlando, let's have tea and sit on the swing!!!!!!!
I leave you with baby doll.
Edited . . . after I wrote this, I went to wash the dishes (joyous occasion, I know). And I was reminded of a verse I memorized 14+ years ago in college . . . it was what I needed and hopefully is an encouragement to you, too. Wow- we are being trained by our discipline . . . and it brings righteousness and peace! What more could we long for and work for????
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11