HOW DID THEY DO IT?

Recent events have caused me to wonder . . . "how did they do it back then?" Curious?

So today I headed out to Target. Shannon followed me across the grass and burst into LOUD protesting when I got into the car. Jer held onto her and as I pulled away, she started screaming and crying VERY loudly. I paused for a second and then continued driving. Later at Target as I recounted the story to a co-worker, she couldn't believe I was "so heartless" not to just bring her along.

My answer to her revealed my "why." Jeremiah and I do not want Shannon growing up to think that if she wants something, she can scream/cry/throw fits and we'll change our mind. So for her sake, I had to keep driving instead of stopping and taking her with me. There was nothing wrong with her other than she wanted to go. Kind of like last week at the flea market when she cried because she wanted a pearl necklace . . . and then we couldn't buy it for her because she WAS crying.

But in my friend's response, there was a hint of "what a mean mom." It made me stop and think for a second, but as I drove home I realized, no this is the choice we are making for OUR family, not to have a screaming brat on our hands :) if at all possible.

Which got me thinking . . . .

We live in community here. Eight sets of houseparents and their kids who all live on campus. Plus teachers, admin, etc. who are around all day. Lots of opinions, etc. as you raise your children . . . some helpful, some not. It's a challenge I tell you!!!!

Which got me thinking . . .

You know how "back in the day" people lived in much more community-style ways, like even Bible times? How in the world did those moms do it without killing each other? Did they all instinctively have the same parenting goals? Or did they get irritated when other moms let their kids get away with something or scolded them for something they got away with back at their own tent? Whew, I can't even imagine! Most of you don't live in true community-type settings. Which can be a good thing sometimes. But seriously, don't you wonder how in the world they do it? Or even modern-day Africa, parts of Latin America and Asia . . . how do they tolerate such differing parenting styles? Or is their community more solid and everyone has similar goals? Aren't you curious?

Comments

Anonymous said…
What an interesting blog -- and I feel a little of what you do. Being the pastor's wife and having the pastor's kid can be a little like living in community. It seems as though everyone in church feel that Micah is a little bit "theirs." I have heard wise people say that we (mothers) need to use our mothers' instinct -- and do what is best for our family -- whether or not others around us agree with it. So, congrats for doing what you and Jeremy think is best for Shannon!! =)

Miriam
Fred said…
One of the things I pray for you is to be able to stand up to the pier pressure in your living situation.
Keep up the good work with Shannon, often the right way is the HARD way!!
ACB

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