Convictions and Self

A few weeks back I had quite the turning point. I was grouchy, cranky, stressed and rather miserable. Oh I had my {legit} excuses . . .

a very "touchy" baby who requires lots of holding, pacing, sometimes 3 hours a day of crying, etc.
a busy toddler who needs attention, consistency and attention
a husband who needs attention
all of the above need clothed, fed, loved
Ranch stuff (work)

And then I read a blog that convicted me to the core of my being. "A Wise Woman Builds Her Home" is one of my new favorite blogs to read. I love the victorian-style pictures and I love her focus on raising daughters to be homemakers, raising sons to be strong. ANYWAY! She often posts things from other blogs and this particular post was entitled Lowly Gentleness . Each word stung me and said "yikes, that's you." The part that jumped out and grabbed me:

A gentle wife is like a tame animal, easily approached, not jumpy or skittish, like an animal in the wild.

I was that skittish animal. I am very patient with my children but my husband was receiving my stress. What a turning point that day was for me. Oh, life is still full and hard right now. But my attitude has been completely overhauled. I want my family to remember me as loving and gentle. Not the scared possum that's been running around our yard.

The other thing I was reminded of is that my JOB right now is my children, husband and home. So often I get irritated when the kids aren't napping because it's "my time" to scrapbook or be alone or whatever. Through a great conversation with my friend Julia and another conversation with Janet, I was reminded that we aren't called to have me time . . . we're called to work hard. Yikes! My Bible doesn't talk about "me time." Sure, we need down time to refresh and recharge but I think I've come to realize that it's highly over-rated and often portrayed as a Biblical thing.

Just reminding myself that I'm not entitled to "me time" but I am entitled to work hard for my family helps me enjoy my day. I know, sounds crazy and weird but it's been working.

So, my life is almost fuller now- I'm trying to do a better job at certain areas in our house (meal planning, doing the dishes every night and not waiting until morning). I'm striving to be a nicer wife to be around, too!

I hope this wasn't too random but I just wanted to share a bit of my heart and what's been going on with ME lately!


The Kelley's said…
right there with ya Erika! Love ya!

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