When you can't do it all . . . or any of it

I almost never get sick- maybe once a year I get a sore throat for a day, but that's about it. On Tuesday I got this awful "cold" - head pounding and feeling like sinuses are going to explode, throat hurting, non-stop sneezing and blowing, feeling like death. And tonight, Saturday, I'm still experiencing it. While not as bad as the past few days, I still am dragging, sneezing and can't do much.

Have you ever laid in bed at night and just hoped that you actually fed your kids appropriate foods and changed diapers during the day? Hoped that you didn't misplace a person or something important? Yeah, that's how I felt this week. Like walking through muck or a fog, just surviving until I could climb into bed- not to sleep because that wouldn't come either, but to lie there.

I say this all not to complain about how I felt, because I know most of you don't have your husbands around during the day to help with some of this and you suffer far more than I do. But I say it to remind me, remind us, of God's grace.

I try so hard to be a "good mom." To give my kids attention, work on manners, teach them about God, do projects, gardening, etc. And really, when it comes down to it, GOD is the one giving them what they need. Protecting them, feeding them, caring for them.

I'm just a tool. A simple, rough-cut, imperfect, mistake-making, impatient-getting, tool. God has allowed me to be their mother. He chose me, for some unknown reason and allows me to parent these precious two. To be the care-taker and servant of my precious children.

Yup, a servant. I've been learning lately that being a wife and mom- it's about serving. Serving my family. So am I serving to the best of my ability? Meals? Cleaning? My energies? Pouring them out for my family or for myself?

So tonight, while getting ready for bed, I scrubbed our toilet clean. The rest of the house still looks like . . . well, like Mom was sick for a week. My garbage can is still overflowing with tissues. But serving starts with a small step and so for tonight, our toilet is clean.

May you be blessed as you take simple steps to serve your precious families this weekend. My parents arrive in TWO days, so I may not be around much. Love.


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